According to learned sociologists, marriage is a social institution. It is a social institution that binds the man and the woman in the relationship into a social bond, a family life. Marriage is a form of arrangement wherein a couple gets to live together to further their platonic, romantic, and sexual relationship without losing their status in the community. And since marriage is deemed to be a social institution, it affects not only the two people getting into the bond but also the generations to come from them. Hence, the social responsibilities of a married couple are typically over and beyond that of an individual. And, to be able to effectively carry out these responsibilities there shall always remain ‘the spark’ between the two individuals coming together. That ‘spark’ is intimacy! So today, we will be discussing the importance of husband-wife intimacy in marriage.
Typically, in the very beginning, a romantic relationship revolves around a phase wherein everything our partner does seems fun, perfect, and adorable. This notion, in the world of science, is called ‘limerence’. According to relationship therapist Mary Kay Cocharo, this period lasts a maximum of 18 to 24 months, however, it can end way sooner in certain relationships. The period of how long the phase lasts depends upon the couple. The experts say that the true test of a relationship starts when the honeymoon period ends.
Many of these relationships abruptly end to avoid the effort and awkwardness, and communication. And seek another relationship/marriage to experience the limerence all over again. The ending of the period of limerence does not mean it is time to end the relationship, however, what it means is there needs to be an effort on part of both individuals to trigger that former chemical reaction in their minds again. And this can be achieved through intimacy in the relationship/marriage. Let us further discuss the importance of husband-wife intimacy in marriage.
Oftentimes, it so happens that people mistake intimacy for the sexual relationship between the couple. However, intimacy and sexual relation are not the same. For example, a couple could be intimate while not indulging in any sexual activity. And vice versa, they could be involved in sexual activities without necessarily being intimate. And hence, the terms ‘intimacy’ and ‘sex’ cannot be used interchangeably.
Intimacy is all about being close to your partner, not necessarily physically, but emotionally and mentally. Yes, if all the aspects of intimacy are there, namely- physical, emotional, and mental, the chances of ‘the spark’ going out become that much lesser! There is a good chance that a married couple may love each other yet still not be on the same page when it comes to connecting on an intimate level. The cause for the not being able to connect on an intimate level? Well, experts in the field of marriage counselling say that there could be a lot of reasons for the same. However, the walk is not all stormy for such couples, with an adequate amount of effort, empathy, and patience, any relationship can successfully overcome this!
Significant Elements of Husband-Wife Intimacy in Marriage
1. Being yourself around your partner at all times-
Being comfortable with being yourself around your partner is bliss. If a person is uncomfortable being themself around their partner, establishing that intimacy may not be possible. Also, not feeling homely around your spouse may be because of certain unaddressed underlying issues related to the person’s self-esteem. In our view, such issues must be discussed at the earliest with the specialist. Discussing the problems surrounding the issue might not only help you be more comfortable around your partner but may also indirectly stimulate the intimacy between you and your partner.
2. Communication is key-
The dictum says that men have more trouble communicating with the other sex. However, the issue of lack of communication affects both genders equally. If it can be concluded that there exists a point from where a relationship can be seen going downhill, it has got to be the point where lack of communication begins. A five-minute meaningful talk with your loved one can make all the difference in the world. It helps solve various relationship issues. For example, neither of the two people would feel left out, unheard, or unimportant if there were to be clear communication between the two of them. Yes, communication can be difficult at times, because numerous factors may determine the level of the same. For example, mood, level of enthusiasm, the energy level of the person, etc.
Despite all this, you must strive to understand your partner, their comfort zone, and their expectations of you. And all of these can be done flourishingly through good communication. When you are comfortable enough around your partner to be able to share from the most minute of things to your biggest of embarrassments, you make space for more intimacy with them!
3. Sex is vital-
Typically, a marriage cannot be held together well without enough sex. Because, other than just being a way of reproducing, sex also leads to intimacy between the partners. Healthy sex life can do wonders not only for marriage but also at the personal level for both the people together. And there is science behind the claim. Sex and anticipation of sex release endorphins and oxytocin. Both of these hormones activate the pleasure areas of your brain, as they are both feel-good hormones. Not only do they artificially create intimacy in the relationship after the limerence is over but also make you feel relaxed. And since there is relaxation, sex also helps you fight off lingering feelings of depression and anxiety.
However, there may be instances between couples when sexual life might not seem that fulfilling. If that is the case, then we would recommend you seek professional help from a marriage/sex therapist. There could be several undiscovered underlying factors adversely affecting your sex life. A specialist may not only help you identify the same but may also help you rejuvenate your sex life.
Importance of Husband-Wife Physical Intimacy And Sex in Marriage:
1. Anti-aging benefits-
Both, having sex and anticipation of having sex, release anti-inflammatory molecules in the human body. And these molecules help repair the normal damage, hence making you young-looking for your age.
2. Betters your self-esteem-
Having a good sex life with your partner not only helps you relax but also helps in improving your sense of self-image.
3. Increases levels of commitment towards each other-
Sex helps better the bond a married couple shares. It is not just about pleasure, it also involves intimacy, sexual expression, sharing a feeling, and more. A good sexual life with your significant other helps in being more confident, both physically and emotionally, as it improves attraction towards each other.
4. Better overall appearance-
Sex is a demanding physical activity. And just like other demanding physical activities like exercising, and doing cardio, sex makes your heart beat faster and also makes you sweat more than usual. Both of these have a positive effect on your heart health and your body’s overall blood circulation. Additionally, sweating helps in flushing out the toxins in your body, leaving your appearance dewy and with a lot more glow.
5. Better immunity-
Regular physical intimacy with your partner may help you protect yourself against diseases. During sexual intercourse, the human brain releases several anti-inflammatory chemicals into our body that not only help repair damaged tissues and skin but also make your demeanour more youthful.
6. Relief from menstruating cramp-pain to women-
Frequent physical intimacy and intercourse between the partners lead to regular contraction of the uterus. And this helps the woman facing less severe cramps while undergoing their menstrual.
So, Kudos! We wholly just discussed the importance of husband-wife intimacy in marriage.
Struggling as a couple to have an adequate degree of intimacy?
Don’t worry, at some point in time, almost all married couples go through a rough patch such as this. You could start by trying the things mentioned above- Get comfortable around each other, communicate thoroughly, and make time for sexual intimacy. These things only shall add the spice back to your married life, as they lead to the release of hormones that are in abundance during the honeymoon period.
However, if these steps don’t get the ball rolling, we would recommend you get professional help. We, at PinkyMind, have numerous experts and therapists who could be of immense help to you in these kinds of scenarios. So, rejuvenate the spark in your marriage! Happy married life to you and your partner!
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