I recently talked to a friend of mine after a long time only to find out that she was not doing so well. Ever since she celebrated her birthday, she has been feeling anxious and stressful about her career and future. She felt worried about how her age is increasing but her career graph isn’t rising as well as she hoped it to be. She had so many plans and she felt that she was lagging behind on them or the pace at which she’s moving wasn’t satisfactory.
You see my friend was a smart and intelligent person. All her life she had people praise her and they also expected good results from her. She constantly heard the phrases that ‘she had a bright future’ and ‘she has to make her parents proud ‘. It boosted her morale too but after a certain time, it started creating too much pressure on her. The pressure of meeting hers and others over- expectations. The very things that once bought her joy became a stressor for her. When someone used to remind her or talk about how people were counting on her, it triggered her. It made her anxious and she would end up thinking about it for hours.
Can you relate to what my friend is going through?
Have you ever felt that way?
If yes then read along –
You see all of us have expectations, both from ourselves and others. We work towards it, to possess that feeling of achievement and triumph. It’s wonderful to be able to reach your goal but what happens what you are unable to?
What happens when you start to over- expect?
What happens when you feel overwhelmed to achieve something that might be too much for you?
Ironically, the answer to all these questions can be answered through a question itself.
Ask yourself, What would happen if you over-inflate a ballon?
The balloon would burst would be the obvious answer. A simple fact isn’t it?
Now ask yourself what will happen to you, if you over-inflate your mind with all the over-expectations and overthinking.
We all have expectations to live up to, be it self imposed or due to pressure from family, friends and society. However, too much of expectations lead to over-expectation. This pressure leads to stress which sometimes may be positive but becomes a cause for concern when it cannot be handled by your our mind. When this stress exceeds beyond our managing capacity it will lead to mental exhaustion. Ultimately, you will burn out.
Tips to deal with over- expectations –
1) Set realistic goals :
Set up goals which can be achievable.
This will help you to know your capacity and then set your goals accordingly. Do not over expect.
2) Think and decide with a clear mind :
Sometimes emotions compel us to make decisions which we might regret later. Learn to think with a rational mind and use logic. Think with a clear mind without letting your emotions dictate your decision.
3) Get used to stress :
Stress is unavoidable in any situation but it depends on you how well your mind can handle it. Getting used to stress gradually will increase your capacity to withstand stress. So instead of taking a big lump, try taking it chunk by chunk.
4) Adapt and evolve:
Adaptation and evolution are in our genes so why not make use of it. If at any point you feel things are not going your way then adapt to the situation. Change your strategy if possible and evolve. Come up with an alternative but don’t stop trying.
5) Learn from your failures:
As humans, we are bound to make mistakes and even face failures but don’t let it discourage you. Take your failures as lessons and use them to not make the same mistakes twice. Failure will provide you with experience and will help in better facing adversities.
6) Try to have a positive outlook-
Learn to accept that things won’t go as we want them to and that’s okay. Acknowledge your hardships and face them with a positive mindset. Having a positive outlook will help you to look at stressful situations from a fresh perspective.
Hope it helps.
