Do you know that neighbour or that acquaintance of yours who went for couples counselling? Have you ever heard your close friend lament on how he wished his wife listened to him for once?
Oh, come on you must have heard that lady, who always complains about her husband and inlaws.
You are nodding your head saying ‘yes yes’ right? Come on then read along.
There are so many couples out there who feel trapped in an unhappy relationship. Who although love their partner very much but are just unable to communicate with them. Then there are the couples who feel that their partner just doesn’t get them. Amongst all these are those kinds of couples who try to mend their damaged relationship. Trying to rekindle that long lost romance.
The world has all kinds of couples and it’s a known fact that couples fight. Although when couples aren’t able to sort out their differences on their own, then help comes to them in the form of couples counselling.
Couples Counsellor or Marriage and Family Therapists (MTF) as they are formally called are licensed mental health professional who specializes in dealing with conflict amongst couples. They are trained to deal with the issues in the context of marriage, couples and other family issues by adopting psychological methods and techniques.
How couples counselling is different from the advise that you receive from people you know?
Couples Counselling gives both the people involved a safe platform to express their opinions. They have the liberty to voice out their concerns and their inner vulnerabilities which they might not be able to share with others.
In couples counselling, the counsellor is a trained professional who’s job is to assess the situation and find out the root cause of discord amongst the couple. It’s a requirement that the counsellor needs to be impartial and non-judgmental. That’s something which cannot be guaranteed in the conventional advise that you may receive from people whom you know.
Some red flags that may indicate that you need couples therapy:
1. When you never seem to be on the same page:
Couples are bound to have different opinions and beliefs and that is perfectly fine. In any relationship, conflicts are bound to happen especially in couples. Although if you find yourself conflicting with your partner almost over everything and it may feel like there are major incompatibility issues. That is a clear red flag.
2. Lack of communication or miscommunication:
This is quite contradictory of the above but still very much true. You feel that you cannot communicate with your partner without it turning into miscommunication. Makes you feel that all is not well in your relationship.
3.You no longer enjoy doing things together:
Many couples like to do things together like it would be their own ‘ritual’. For some, it will be like taking a walk, for others just having a cup of tea together. If you find no joy in those once sweet rituals of yours then you need to think where your relationship is going.
4. Absence of physical intimacy:
Physical intimacy is an important part of any couple’s relationship. It acts as a kind of bonding experience between the couple and helps to keep the spark alive. Absence of physical intimacy or simply not having a romantic interest in your partner may indicate that your relationship is on the rocks.
5.Where Ego trumps emotions:
There’s a difference between self-respect and ego, these two shouldn’t be confused. The former is standing up for your belief, opinions and the latter is to feel the need to have the upper hand over your partner. If you cannot come to a truce simply because your ego takes more preference than your relationship then it might be time to think.
